I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I CAN MOONWALK!
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
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I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
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My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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