so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
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Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
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I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize