Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
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and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
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I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
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