It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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