At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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