She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
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