You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize