I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
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There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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