I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
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