Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize