I want you more than these girls want KFC
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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