I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize