What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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