Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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