Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
soo... how was my night?
Randomize