The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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