I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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