your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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