I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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