I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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