Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
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I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
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I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
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