I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
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I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
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My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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