Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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