I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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