Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
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i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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