You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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