Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize