K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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