Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
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Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
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He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
this hospital has no fireball
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
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