you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
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It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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