Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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