I hope mine doesn't look like that
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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