I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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