Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
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I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
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You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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