Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize