I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
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