He disabled his match.com account in front of me
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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