OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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