Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
The power of my boobs compel you
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize