I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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