I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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