I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
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The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
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This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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