shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
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