We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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