i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
i drank out of a bidet.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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