and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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