I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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