so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
You are a booty call, not a friend.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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