Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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