i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize